17 Jan Setting Worthy Goals as Easy as 1-2-3
Many people struggle with living an unfulfilled life and lacking purpose. One of the causes of this is the lack of direction. To feel purposeful requires that we are motivated by constant achievements and the way to do this is understand how to set worthy goals.
There are 3 types of goals- the “been-there” goal, “know-how” goal” and the “stretch” goal. The Been-There Goal is a goal that you have attained and simply want to repeat. For example, you set a goal to buy a new house in order to move from the house you bought a few years ago. The Know-How Goal is one that you have never attained but you have worked out exactly how you will do it. Both these goals don’t bring a lot of satisfaction and not inspiring. There is a third type which is the Stretch Goal. This is a goal will require you to stretch your mind because you have NO idea how you would ever achieve it. This type of goal is based on your fantasy and imagination. Striving towards achieving a Stretch Goal is inspiring and motivating. The idea of achieving this goal should scare you a bit as it’s not in your comfort zone.
So why are goals so important in life? To get more? To get better? To get bigger? The answer is no, no and no. Our life purpose is to grow, to evolve. To achieve the greatest and deepest fulfillment is to attain a goal of something we didn’t even know was there.
If you were to ask a number of different people what their goals are, how many would know what their specific goals are? Probably not many. If yes, are they clearly defined? Or even better, is it written down somewhere. Ideas just keep swirling around in our brain confused with so many other things when they are not acted upon. Writing it down on paper is the first step to making it happen. Second step is to carry the written goal around with you and read/say it as often as possible. This little exercise will root the idea from our conscious mind (where knowledge and information swirls around until physical action is taken) to our subconscious mind. The subconscious mind dictates our behavior and patterns.
I set a goal when I was 25 years old that I will attain financial freedom and retire before the age of 50. That goal was definitely a stretch. The circumstances I was born into revolved around struggle and limitations. My parents had no freedom, they were bound to 14 hour work days, 360 days a year in our family restaurant. I was taught limitations from a very young age. I was bullied on a societal level through racism and prejudice. Poverty is what we knew and survival was what I should have strived for. None of this stopped me from pushing those boundaries, those externally imposed limits. From a very young age, my comfort zone was formed by people with limitations.
So if we start fantasizing again to determine what we really want, we are dealing with fantasy. Have we lost our ability to imagine, to fantasize? As children, we would get lost in fantasy in classrooms but would also be quickly reprimanded for not paying attention to what the teacher was saying. After a while, we put our imagination away and focus only on what we know how to do.
Here are the exercises you can take to determine what you want:
Exercise 1: Do a shopping list of everything you desire or want. Don’t skimp. When doing this exercise, do not think about the “how” you will achieve everything on your list. The HOW is not important at this stage.
Exercise 2: Prioritize each “want” item. The one remaining at top of the list is the dream you will strive for.
Exercise 3: Turn that dream into theory, then theory into a goal by asking yourself, “Am I able”? Don’t refer to what we were taught as children and tap into our infinite potential. Then the next question needs to be “Am I willing”? Will you make it a priority? If your answer is yes, then that’s when your theory turns into a goal. The final step is to get emotionally involved with that goal. As you get emotionally involved, it will influence your behavior to go towards the goal. Your thought now turns into a fact. You will then be living it.
Now that you are shooting for your dream, you will become more effective at each step closer and then more aware of how you are doing it. That’s motivating enough to keep you on track, focused and disciplined.
Don’t let others with limitations tell you what you can or cannot achieve. Don’t let the external world dictate how you will live. Create your own circumstances based on what you want in life. Focus only on what is going on inside you.
One of my favorite quotes by Bob Proctor is “Change is inevitable but personal growth is a choice”. Be comfortable in the uncomfortable and don’t be afraid to stretch yourself. Fantasize as you have when you were a child and make whatever you want as a goal without limitations. We all deserve to be fulfilled and to live our ultimate dream.