26 Nov Power From Within!
Since childhood, I have been taught that life is difficult and in my own young reality, life was all about struggles. My parents worked extremely hard and when I was 13 years old, they bought a restaurant taking them into a life of 12 hour 7 day work weeks. Vacations barely crossed their minds. As I grew older, I would question why life had to be this way. Intuitively, I knew something was not right. My parents saw no other choice but to sacrifice their own enjoyment needs to ensure their four children attain more freedom in life.
So my life’s journeys have taken me to this point where I have undergone much self reflection and in search of understanding what it takes to break “patterns” and cycles. I have taken many risks in order to learn about empowerment. I needed to truly believe that anything is possible for “me” and that I “can” get anything I desire despite what my parents and ancestors did or didn’t achieve. Here are the prerequisites to living an empowered state:
- Who Are You Fooling?
We all think we know ourselves very well, however, how truly “honest” are we with ourselves. How many hours do we waste trying to avoid thinking or saying things we “perceive” as negative? If you tend to do this, then you are at risk of living in a denial mode. Identify all aspects of who you are, good and not-so-good, start getting real… go back over many years to analyze your choices and behavior over time (patterns) and the consequences of those decisions. Do you notice a pattern? For example, Mary was fed up with meeting men who were emotional abusive towards her. She felt she was empowered because she would leave without taking abuse for too long. After nearly 20 men of which 5 were relationships, she is still single after 15 years and miserable not knowing what she can be doing wrong. With greater introspection, each man or relationship was meant for her to learn or overcome to in her journey to evolve. The moment she changed the mindset, she started analyzing herself, her emotions and her reactions with a higher perspective. It was no longer the “man’s” fault and she was able to work through issues with subsequent relationships, she wasn’t so quick to “jump ship”. She is now married with a beautiful family. Do this WITHOUT judgement and your eyes will be wide opened!
- Authentically Me!
Since when was honesty something difficult?… but it can be. Many of us don’t like to acknowledge the part of ourselves that are, in our eyes, not perfect. It makes us feel disappointed, emotional pain or fear. If you are an idealist, this is particularly real to you. We have been taught from a very young age from parents, family and society and we have been programmed with beliefs that impose fear. As a result, we end up being something we are not as we try to be something everyone else thinks we should be. We lose connection to who we and what we are all about. Once you have identified and acknowledge who you really are, then you will learn how to be compassionate to yourself. When self love is achieved, you will then be ready to be truly honest with the world… you will stand authentically.
- Fears Be Gone
If I ask people “what are your fears”, most everyone will be able to give one or two. However, you should remember that whatever fears you think you know are only in the conscious level. There are deeper fears and limiting beliefs that lie in your core. There are those underlying fears that are so deeply buried within our subconscious that we have so much difficulty seeing let alone even acknowledging they exist. Understand that these limiting beliefs in your subconscious are responsible for dictating your behaviors, for creating your patterns and for creating your reality. Authenticity exercises get you to at least to start acknowledging your conscious fears and this is a very important first step.
- It’s Not My Fault
Victimization is By Choice! When something goes wrong, how many times have we blamed someone or something else? The classic blame is “You made me react like this!”… now, in all seriousness… no one can “make” us do anything… we CHOOSE to react the way we do. So the next time you want to say something like this, take a breath and ask yourself “why am I reacting in such a negative way?”… Defensiveness is a sign of underlying issues and/or fears that our environment is triggering. The key is to stop and think before reacting emotionally and analyze the negative emotions being triggered. Introspection will enable you to understand what issues are deep within that are surfacing through your behaviors.
- Fake Positivism
The tough love style of past generations has now spawned a new age philosophy of positive thinking that I believe has swung to the other end of the pendulum. So many people have asked me how the heck positive can be negative?? Just “saying” or thinking positive things is not bad in itself but for positivism to help you be empowered, you have to BELIEVE the positive things you are saying. Otherwise, your positivism is fake and you run the risk of living a life lacking of authenticity. Very recently, a friend of mine kept telling me how smart her son is and how she is so impressed how empowered he is, etc etc etc. Then in the very next breath, she started complaining about how he is being brainwashed by his girlfriend and how gullible he is. If she were honest with herself, her judgement of her son’s situation shows her real belief that her son might not be as smart as says because she wouldn’t worry about his girlfriend “brainwashing” him.